We Should Develop A Friendship With Our Spouses

The Holy Prophet (saws) said ; "The most perfect believer in faith is the one whose character is finest and who is kindest to his wife."

[Tirmidhi & Nasa'i]

Explanation : We should develop a friendship with our spouses. The relationship based on friendship is more able to withstand outside pressures. We honor, trust, respect, accept and care for our friends , in spite of our differences. These are the aspects of friendship we should bring to our marriages.

Unfortunately the only aspect that people think of bringing to their marriage which is highly inappropriate is the buddy scenario . Shariah (Islamic law) has placed the husband in a leadership role within a family. This requires a certain decorum , which cannot be maintained if the spouses consider each other as pals.

This should not be taken to mean that the husband is a dictator but a shepherd who is responsible for and to his flock. This is a position of grave responsibility and places an enormous burden on the husband. Furthermore the children need to see their parents as friends but not as pals as this encourages disrespect.

One can Supplicate & Wish Well for a Non-Muslim...

Anas (ra) relates that a Jewish boy used to attend Prophet (saws). Once he fell sick and the Prophet (saws) went to visit him and asked him to embrace Islam. The boy looked at his father, who said to obey what the Prophet (saws) had advised. Prophet (saws) said : "Thanks to Allah (Swt), Who saved the boy from Hell fire."

[Bukhari]

Explanation : Islamic Jurisprudence, Traditions of Prophet (saws) , and history have a treasure of information and guidance about relations of Muslims with non-Muslims . Interpersonal relations, social interaction , trade or business partnership , and all other aspects of social interdependence have been discussed and clarified. Due respect is to be given to non-Muslims according to their status and rank . Islam does not teavh hatred, bias, prejudice and discrimination against non-Muslims.

In fact the life of the Prophet (saws) , and his companions (Allah be pleased with them) teaches us to be extra careful for their feelings and always make efforts to make a soft corner in their hearts by good behaviour and a positive winning attitude. The Arabic term Taaleef-e-Qalb defines this effort. This effort has brought millions to the fold of Islam. It was not the sword, but the character and knowledge that triumphed.

None forced Islam on anyone, but the entire poulation embraced Islam after Prophet (saws)'s return to Makkah as mentioned in Ayah 2 of Surah An-Nasr in the Holy Qur'an : "( Rasool Allah) , when you see people embracing Allah's faith in large crowds, celebrate the praise of your Lord and ask His forgiveness."

One can supplicate and wish well for a non-Muslim according to the situation he may be in . This is again a display of courtesy, kind heartedness and mutual respect taught by Islam.

We Should Not Waste Any Moment of our Life in Gossips

The Prophet (saws) said, "There are two blessings that most people are deluded by. Health and available time."

[Bukhari]

Explanation : In personal life, companions of the Prophet (saws) used to spend a lot more time in worship than we do. This would seem to leave a lot less time for other pursuits in life. We also know that means of communications were very poor at that time. Sometimes they (sahaba) had to travel on horseback for weeks or months to another area, say, to collect a report of a hadith from someone who had heard it directly from the Prophet (saws). Yet during this period and despite all the logistics problems, together they collected the hundreds of thousands of Ahadith . How in the world did they find time for that ?

The answer is simple . They (sahaba) valued time as the gift whose proper or improper use would determine the outcome for the eternity. Abdullah ibn Hasan(ra) reports that whenever two companions met, they would not depart till they had recited Surah Al-Asr to each other reminding themselves of the eternal loss everyone faces if we waste our time in foolish pursuits . They did not waste any moment of their life in gossips, useless talks or meaningless pursuits.

We are becoming older every day.One day our time will be up and we will leave the world forever.What happens afterwards depends solely on how we used all the moments available to us before that certain but unknown moment comes.

Prisoners Want to Be Free...

The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: "The world is a prison for the believers and Paradise for the disbelievers"

[Sahih Muslim]

Explanation : Prison is not a place where people want to live or end up at. The mere existence of prison has a significant deterrent value. Also once a person is a prisoner , it is a human tendency to try to become free. Prisoners want to be free and to return to their homes and to the society where they originally belonged . This sense of believing is important for a believer.

To be a believer in Islam means understanding that one's destination is Paradise, that is where everyone belongs. Paradise is designed and prepared for successful human beings; it is awaiting them. When a person develops that awareness and conviction , then this ephemeral worldly life to him appears as nothing short of a prison from which he seeks freedom and wants to reach his destination.

If he has to spend some time in this prison , he hardly enjoys it ; the urge of reaching his ultimate destination overshadows his other desires. The opposite is true about people who do not believe. They treat this world as their Pradise. To them , nothing awaits them beyond this life. Therefore, they indulge themselves to the extent that they become entrapped.

People Only Listen to Those Whom They Like

Allah's Messenger (saws) said : "Shall I not tell you who among you is most beloved to me and will be closest to me on the Day of Resuurection?" He (saws) repeated it two or three times, and they said , "Yes, O Messenger of Allah (saws)." He said : "Those of you who are best in attitude and character."

[Ahmad]

Explanation : The Muslim who truly understands the teachings of his religion is gentle, friendly and likeable. He mixes with people and gets along with them. This is something which should be a characteristic of the Muslim who understands that keeping in touch with people and earning their trust is one of the most important duties of a Muslim.

It is an effective means of conveying the message of truth to them , and exposing them to its moral values, because people only listen to whom they like, trust and accept. Such a person is one of those chosen ones who are beloved by the Prophet (saws) and will be closest to him on the Day of Resurrection.

The Prophet (saws) set the highest example of good behaviour towards people. He was skilful in softening their hearts and called them to follow him in word and deed. He demonstrated how to reach people's hearts and win their love and admiration. He (saws) was always cheerful and easy-going, never harsh.

When he came to any gathering, he would sit wherever there was a free space, and he told others to do likewise. He treated everyone equally, so that no one who was present in a gathering would feel that anyone else was receiving any preferential treatment. The true Muslim follows in the footsteps of his Prophet (saws) in his dealings with all people. whether they are good or bad, so that he is liked and accepted by all people.

The Prophet (saws) was a living example for all humans to follow. His wife Ayesha (ra) was asked about his manners , and she said "His manners were the Qur'an". In this statement, Ayesha (ra) meant that the Prophet (saws) abided by its laws and commands and abstained from its prohibitions , and observed the virtuous deeds mentioned in it.

The Prophet (saws) said "God has sent me to perfect good manners and to do good deeds". [Bukhari & Ahmad]

Allah, the Exalted, described the Prophet (saws) saying : "And indeed, you are of a great moral character" (68:4)

Good Teachings Came From a Man who Strived for Establishing A Great New Faith

The Messenger of Allah (saws) said , "Allah dislikes an obscene and a rude talker and the bearer of a good moral character reaches to the level of the observer of the prayer and fasting, on account of his character."

[Imam Ahmed]

Explanation : The Holy prophet (saws) has very forcefully emphasized the above mentioned valuable principles so that the Ummah may understand it very clearly that the value of morality may not go down in its eyes.

There would be nothing surprising if such teachings were to come from a philosopher who was busy in his campaign for moral reform. But the great surprise is that these teachings come from a man who strived for establishing a great new faith , when all other religions turn their attention first only towards the performance of worship and other religious rites.

In spite of the expansion of the religion and the immense increase in the various tasks of his followers, the Prophet (saws) informs them of the fact that on the Day of Judgement there will be nothing weightier in their balance than their moral character , then definitely this reality is not hidden from him that in Islam the value of morality is very high.

Hope is the Medicine which Keeps One Alive

Thabit ibn Al-Dahhak (ra) reported the Messenger of Allah (saws) to have said , "He who killed himself with anything in the world will be tormented with that very thing on the Day of Judgement."
[Bukhari]

Explanation : The common reason behind thinking of suicide is always despair , As regards the remedy of this state , I'd like to cite the following :

The remedy is hope. Allah made hopelessness unlawful by saying, "Do not despair Alah's mercy." (Surah Yusuf :87) Thus, no matter at what level of despair, depression and frustration we are, whether loss of a loved one or job , or as the result of anger from someone else m we must not give up hope as there is a ray of light at the end of the tunnel. The greatest hope is the Mercy from Allah.

Hope is the medicine which keeps one alive and going, which is when we say , hang on , we mean hang onto the thread of hope. It is not unnatural to be sad over situations and events. Even Prophet Muhammad (saws) used to be sad, looking at the plight of the Unbelievers and their rejection of his message for Oneness of Allah , and not becoming Muslims.

During dejection , there is darkness, but in hope, there is light. Therefore, one must pray for this light to illuminate the heart so that we can see beyond what is causing the suffering today.

Muslims believe that all their suffering, failures, and adversities are nothing but a test of Allah , who has said, "And surely We shall try you with something of fear and hunger, and loss of wealth and lives and crops; but give glad tidings to the steadfast , who say, when a misfortune striketh them : Lo ! To Allah we belong and yo Him we shall be returning." (Al-Baqarah)