Disciplining Children

The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "Command your children to perform Salat (prayer) when they are seven years old, and beat them for (not offering) it when they are ten."

[Abu Dawud]

Explanation : As regards disciplining our children, this depends on the age of the child.If the child is young, especially in the first seven years, it is enough to advise and guide him/her with soft words without resorting to hitting the child, because hitting is not convenient at this age.

But when the child grows up and reaches the age specified by the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) by saying, “Order your children to perform Salah at the age of seven and hit them if they do not perform it at the age of ten, and separate their beds)”. [Reported by Ahmad]. So when the child reaches this age, then it is permissible to hit him/her in order to discipline him/her, but without hitting him violently or severely, and the hitting of the child should be the last resort.

A parent should not hit the child when he is angry or as revenge. Before resorting to hitting, one has first to advise and admonish, if this is beneficial, or to deny the child something he/she likes, for instance not allowing him to play. Every parent is well aware of what his child loves or hates.

Muslim jurists have written that like Salat, other injunctions of Shari`ah should also be instilled in the minds of children, and if possible, they should also be given practical training for their performance. For instance, they should be made to observe Saum (fast) occasionally in accordance with their age and capacity during the month of Ramadan, so that the importance of obligation of fasting is impressed on their minds in an early age. This exercise will prove very fruitful when they attain maturity. They will then be conscious that for a Muslim, fasting in the month of Ramadan is compulsory like the five daily Salat.

A child generally does not attain maturity at the age of ten years, but nevertheless he does acquire some sense. It is, therefore, necessary that rather than putting children in one bed they are provided separate beds once they reach the age of 10, especially children of the opposite sex.

The parents should supplicate much for their children to be guided by Allah and enabled to do good deeds.